The type of person that i want to be beside me someday ,
You know what it is? It like hmm you know right ? I just want someone to look at me the way my father look at my mother. I want someone like my mother who is willing to take care of my father even when my father is being annoying. I want something genuine & nice . I want to experience this.

But sometime it doesn't matter how much you love someone. if your relationship with them is bringing unwanted circumstances into your life, let them go. Happiness begins with you. Not with your relationship, your friends, or your job. But with you.

I learnt that sometimes in life, you have to cut ties with people who aren't good for you. The love isn't lost, but the communication isn't healthy. We move on.

A year ago, on a morning like any other, i had a sudden realization. i was in a danger of wasting my life. "what do i want from life?" i asked myself. "well i want to be happy." i had many reasons to be happy. for this beautiful life, my parents are supportive, my siblings are caring, close friends & having a chance to further my studies and enjoy life. but somehow i lost my temper easily. is that how a happy person would act? well the year is over, and i can say: it did. i made myself happier. and along the way i learned a lot about how to be happier. here are those lessons.

1.  buy some happiness. our needs include feeling loved, secure and good at what we do. money doesn't automatically fill these requirements but it sure can help. i've learned to look for ways to spend money to make myself happy.
2. take action. your happiness level is within your control. happiness is a choice. taking time to reflect and making conscious steps to make your life happier, it works.
3. forgive others. forgiveness literally heals the heart.
4. hold meaningful conversations.
5. stay close to your parents.
6. realize that fun is not happiness. fun can be here at any moment. but then it can be gone just as quickly.
7. follow your gut to decide.
8. own yourself. the way you talk, looks, your voice, your personality, embrace your habits, and try to be comfortable in your skin.
9. avoid negative people & vibes.
10. avoid complicated situations where you could find yourself unhappy. if people are persuading you to do something that makes you uncomfortable, don't do it.

And masa dah berlalu baru kita mula sedar, Allah swt takdirkan kita berundur ke belakang untuk mengambil langkah bagi melonjak lebih tinggi & jauh kehadapan.

I knw , the hurt and loss of a "best friend" leaving can often be far harder than you might think. we never expect that our closest confidante will up and leave us. it just is not conceivable. it does happen though. aku ni susah nak berkawan dengan orang. tapi bila ada kawan tu aku jaga sampai mati. tapi adat hidup yang rapat dengan kita akan pergi jugak. betul lah, orang yang dah hilang dan pergi dalam hidup kita, akan digantikan dengan orang lebih baik. percayalah. when i think of all the people who once meant everything to me and now mean nothing, i get a little sick to my stomach. i wonder how it could’ve happened and why things couldn’t have stayed the same. but still, i believe in His plans, always. hey, life is an adventure.

You might think i am fine but actually i am not. i am struggling but i still keep going. because pain is temporary. same goes to relationships, they are temporary. same goes to you, you are temporary. everything is temporary. nothing lasts forever. But i am thankful you gave me so much in a short period of time. Thank you.

I will become a stronger person. but sometimes sekuat mana pun kita mencuba, kadang kadang kita tersungkur juga, kalah dengan perasaan sendiri. chin up. you will be fine. sebab kadang kadang hati kita salah. salah kawal perasaan dengan akal.

@peebo / telegram channel